Joe

Joe

Joesph “Saint” Wood, as he was known, was not the sort of person you would expect fronting a 3 piece rock band.

Joe grew up in a quiet, old fashioned village, next to a nunnery, and was no stranger to leading a pure and simple life. His angelic choir boy voice was revered by parishes for miles around, and everyone expected him to become the next local vicar.

Unfortunately for the local communities, Joe was injured, falling from an electricity pylon, whilst trying to save birds from being electrocuted by perching on the wires. Something strange and unnatural happened, either up there, at the top of the pylon, or after hitting his head (no one knows), but one thing is for certain, Joe developed some form of electrical powers…

Joe’s first experience with these electric powers began with distortion – he normally used the local church PA equipment to delight his congregation, but now something was different. Unwittingly, he added electrically overdriven effects to his voice, and frightened local patrons with what became known as his “Devil’s Srceam”.

Joe was cast out from the church amidst claims of posession and demonisation, so he turned to watching the MTV channel rather than attending surmons…

After slowly being brainwashed by the media, Joe believed that the only way he could get back in touch with other humans was through the rock scene. These apparent “freaks” were just like him − but what were those devices they used, that were made of wood and strings? Also, why did those devices produce Devil Screams too? He didn’t know, but had to find out…

Whilst picking up a guitar for the first time, Joe became obsessed with effects, and was mysteriously able to create sounds out of guitars and stomp boxes that no one else could − he was now using his powers for exciting new sounds and creative outlet. Now all he needed was some friends.

It was another 10 years before Joe made any friends. Ten lonely years of watching MTV and listening to Turin Brakes, writing song after song after song, each more focused on depression and emotion than the last.

His first converstion with a human since his castigation from the clergy was with none other than Eddie, whom Joe found busking on the streets of Derby. They were drawn to each other by music, and their background stories of social persecution. They talked long into the night about lyrics of woe and anger, and the next morning, a new musical allicance was formed.

Strangely enough, everything seemed better for Joe since finding a friend, and with the addition of Aza on drums, his songs have become more upbeat and less painful to listen to. Just don’t mention anything to him about religion…

Fun Fact #890

Joe lives outside the observable universe.


Show Joe You Care!


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